Helen Rowland Love Quotes and Sayings, Photo credit: Wikipedia
Helen Rowland Love Quotes and Sayings
#1-3 Prelude, A Guide to Men [S]
1. Love is misery sweetened with imagination, salted with tears, spiced with doubt, flavored with novelty, and swallowed with your eyes shut.
2. Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty, and a lie from a luxury into a necessity.
3. The sweetest part of a kiss is the moment just before taking.
#4-5 First Interlude, A Guide to Men [S]
4. After marriage, a woman’s sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man’s so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
5. Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he’ll go to sleep before you finish saying it.
#6 CYMBALS AND KETTLE-DRUMS, A Guide to Men [S]
6. Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
#7-8 WHAT EVERY WOMAN WONDERS, A Guide to Men [S]
7. Love is neither a bonfire, nor a kitchen-fire; but an altar-fire, to be kept burning forever with prayer and reverence.
8. Love is a matter of give and take—marriage, a matter of misgive and mistake.
#9 Third Interlude, A Guide to Men [S]
9. Marriage is the operation by which a woman’s vanity and a man’s egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.
#10 Fourth Interlude, A Guide to Men [S]
10. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little; to be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
#11 Variations, A Guide to Men [S]
11. Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.
#12-16 Reflections of a Bachelor Girl [S]
12. Love doesn’t really “make the world go ’round,” it only makes us so dizzy that everything seems to be going round.
13. Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks so easy until you try it.
14. A man loves a woman first tenderly, then madly, then dearly, then comfortably, and last dutifully.
15. Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite—everything seems so flat and tasteless.
16 It isn’t the things a man says that proves he loves you, but the things he tries to say and can’t—the things that choke right up in his throat and leave him sitting dumb and miserable on your parlor divan.
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Excerpt from Wikipedia: Helen Rowland (1875–1950) was an American journalist and humorist. For many years she wrote a column in the New York World newspaper called Reflections of a Bachelor Girl. Many of her pithy insights from these columns were published in book form, including Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909), The Rubáiyát of a Bachelor (1915), and A Guide to Men (1922). She is often confused with Helen Rowland (born Helene Rubin, later Helene Daniels), a singer on radio and recordings during the 1930s.
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Sayings by Helen Rowland
#1-5 Reflections of a Bachelor Girl [S]
1. A man is like a cat; chase him and he’ll run; sit still and ignore him and he’ll come purring at your feet.
2. Every time a woman gives a man a piece of her mind she loses a piece of his heart.
3. Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
4. The happiest wife is not always the one who marries the best man, but the one who makes the best of the man she marries.
5. The only way to be happy with a husband is to learn to be happy without him most of the time.
#6 Greeting, The Sayings of Mrs. Solomon [S]
6. And verily, a woman need know but one man, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
#7 Prelude, A Guide to Men [S]
7. It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son—and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
#8 Second Marriages, A Guide to Men [S]
8. A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
#9 Bachelors, A Guide to Men [S]
9. Somehow, a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever!
#10 Bachelors, A Guide to Men [S]
10. A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
#11 INTERMEZZO, A Guide to Men [S]
11. A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.
#12 WHAT EVERY WOMAN WONDERS, A Guide to Men [S]
12. A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth—and endures all the rest of them.
#13 Syncopations, A Guide to Men [S]
13. A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him— but the considerate woman gets him.
#14 Second Interlude, A Guide to Men [S]
14. Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature— and another woman to help him forget them.
#15 Divorces, A Guide to Men [S]
15. When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
#16 First Interlude, A Guide to Men [S]
16. Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her—when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
#17 Third Interlude, A Guide to Men [S]
17. Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman’s punishment has been to have to supply a man with food and then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.
#18 Intermezzo, A Guide to Men [S]
18. To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is “misunderstood” or that he is “different;” none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more than merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.
#19 Intermezzo, A Guide to Men [S]
19. Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can’t be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.
#20 CYMBALS AND KETTLE-DRUMS, A Guide to Men [S]
20. Life is like a poem or a story; the most important thing about it is not that it should be long, but that it should be beautiful and interesting.
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Unsourced Quotes by Helen Rowland
1. Love, like a chicken salad a restaurant has, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.
2. A woman’s flattery may inflate a man’s head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.
3. The woman who appeals to a man’s vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
4. In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
5. Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.